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White April
by Harold Vinal
(1922, Yale University Press)
Proserpine (Persephone)
from an 1874 painting by Dante Gabriel Rossetti; Click for a larger image; [selection by the Editor]
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Part I. Golden Windows
- O I MUST answer to a name
- And live upon a certain street,
- And stairs within a dingy house
- Must bear the burden of my feet.
- Still, when the night is dim and sweet,
- In dreams I roam the silent hills,
- Where aisles of shadow, vague with light,
- Are petalled soft with daffodils.
- I foot it through the silver dark,
- I shout aloud to field and tree
- And all this gipsy heart of me
- Is longing, longing to be free.
- O I must answer to a name
- And live upon a certain street,
- But who shall take my dreams from me
- Or keep my life from being sweet?
- Harold Vinal
- I WILL light my candle
- Before night comes on,
- A room is a dreary place
- And forlorn.
- I will light the tiny flame
- So it sputter brightly,
- For ghosts of lonely things
- Trouble me nightly.
- I will shut my ears
- Lest I hear again
- Wind crying in the hall,
- Rain on the pane.
- I will light my candle
- Before night comes on,
- A room is a dreary place,
- Now love has gone.
- Harold Vinal
- NO more you weave, Persephone,
- Gowns the colors of the sea.
- Your ivory fingers now are still
- And your grave a grassy hill.
- But everywhere songs are sung
- They sing of you who died so young.
- And lads and lassies passing by
- Place bergamot where you lie.
- No more you weave, Persephone,
- Gowns the colors of the sea,
- Emerald, chrysoprase and blue
- That looked beautiful on you.
- But everywhere songs are sung
- They sing of you who died so young.
- Harold Vinal
- FROM my window I see
- Tall trees in a row,
- Rhododendron and phlox,
- Spicy things that blow.
- All of beauty there
- Through four little panes,
- Clumps of columbine
- Wet with the rains.
- Through my window I see
- Life pass by me--
- Colin and Christopher,
- Rose and Charity.
- Harold Vinal
- IN memory of this and that
- I'll wear a starry hood
- And set a bowl upon the stoop
- And light the wood.
- In memory of laughter
- I'll dance no more
- But hide my gown and feathers
- Behind a dark door.
- In memory of sorrow
- I'll take them out again
- And put a ribbon in my hair
- And dance down a lane.
- Harold Vinal
- HOW can I remember
- Autumn and pain,
- When trees hold dreams
- In their arms again ?
- How can my heart break
- Till it cries"?
- The joy of summer
- Has made me wise.
- I can't remember
- What hurt me so--
- Autumn and winter
- Were so long ago.
- Harold Vinal
- I AM bound by twilight,
- I am chained by snow,
- I am held a captive
- To the winds that blow.
- But the careless people
- Laugh as they go by
- Blind to all the wonder
- Of the earth and sky;
- Deaf to all the music
- Falling over me;
- Is it they are captive--
- And that I am free ?
- Harold Vinal
- THE candles I keep burning
- Above the door
- Are in memory of those
- Who pass no more.
- Faith and Caroline,
- Rose and Margaret,
- I light candles there
- Lest the heart forget.
- I keep candles flaming
- Lest, when Strephon call,
- I forget that they
- Ever lived at all.
- Harold Vinal
- STITCHES over and over
- So the heart won't break,
- Thrust the needle under
- For sorrow's sake.
- Stitches over and over
- Till the pattern's set,
- Thrust the needle under
- So the heart forget.
- Stitches over and over,
- Needle hurry fast,
- Till the love of beauty
- Fall from me at last.
- Harold Vinal
Part II. Sonnets for Weeping
- I AM so near to grief I needs must weep
- For little places fair as Camelot,
- For dusty inns and gardens long forgot,
- They haunt me ever so I cannot sleep.
- I am the slave of beauty late and soon,
- Of apricots blown into silver rain,
- Held close to tears by many a shining lane
- Where ghostly birds call wildly to the moon.
- Is there at last an ending to it all,
- An end of petals blown against my face,
- Can I not hide myself behind a wall
- And forget beauty for a little space,
- Forget all passion that I ever knew--
- Old beauty gone and you and you and you ?
- Harold Vinal
- I THOUGHT that beauty was forever dead,
- Until I saw a daffodil abloom
- And two bright tulips in my garden bed
- And silver spills beyond my little room.
- I thought that grief would never go from me,
- Yet now how wonderful are all the days,
- I am no longer hurt by misery
- But wild with joy and tremulous with praise.
- 0 God, let not too many white stars fall,
- Nor let your bushes bloom in one small hour,
- I could not bear the beauty of it all,
- For I would pause with awe before each flower
- And touch each blossom with my finger-tips
- And feel the wind's first sweetness on my lips.
- Harold Vinal
- OLD loveliness has such a way with me,
- That I am close to tears when petals fall
- And needs must hide my face against a wall,
- When autumn trees burn red with ecstasy.
- For I am haunted by a hundred things
- And more that I have seen in April days;
- I have held stars above my head in praise,
- I have worn beauty as two costly rings.
- Alas, how short a state does beauty keep,
- Then let me clasp it wildly to my heart
- And hurt myself until I am a part
- Of all its rapture, then turn back to sleep,
- Remembering through all the dusty years
- What sudden wonder brought me close to tears.
- Harold Vinal
- BY day no singing beauty wakes in me;
- My soul is silent as a silver dell,
- Where voiceless winds speak only of farewell
- And cloistered flowers dwell in secrecy.
- Shaken with woe I hide against my heart
- Sweetness and loveliness and meadowed rain
- And swallow-beauty May has brought again;
- Dream-still they lie alone, untouched, apart.
- But when day undesired falls asleep,
- Dreaming on hills where shaking stars look down,
- I roam cool-misted vales beyond the town,
- And cry my love of beauty till I weep.
- The glowing trees, so faint that no one hears,
- Drop veils of shadow down to hide my tears.
- Harold Vinal
- O I COULD weep my heart out, late and soon,
- For dear and lovely things I would forget:
- A blur of silver spills that burned at noon,
- A clump of daffodils and mignonette,
- Aprils remembered that come back no more
- To haunt my gardens where the tulips bloom
- And banished summers flaming at my door,
- When haunted moonlight streamed into my room.
- At times the thought of so much loveliness
- Drops from me strangely, like the end of grief,
- Then suddenly I feel the wind's caress,
- Or a wild tree lets fall a lyric leaf.
- The thought of you drifts from an ancient spring-
- And I near weep again remembering.
- Harold Vinal
- OLD loveliness returned this afternoon
- To break my heart and make me weep aloud;
- I had forgotten autumn came so soon,
- With blur of golden leaf and jewelled cloud.
- Here once wild, scarlet tulips used to blow
- And daffodils wave lightly in the spring
- And lovely spicewood bushes burn and glow
- And April trees spill April blossoming.
- Now the last birds go winging down the air
- And children's laughter and a scrap of song
- Blown from a shivering pipe; Nothing lasts long,
- Not even April that was once so fair.
- O how it hurts to see the wild trees thinned
- And spring's dear beauty falling in the wind.
- Harold Vinal
- SLOWLY I pass among the blowing flowers
- Catching my breath at their beauty as I go;
- Familiar sweetness drifts across the hours,
- Keen, lovely sweetness, intimate as woe.
- Yet by to-morrow all the roses blown
- Will be a sea of crimson on the grass,
- And the naked trees will shudder at the moan
- Of glowing winds that wake them as they pass.
- In such wise, love will vanish as the night,
- Each word of joy that you have sung to me
- The years will silence with their dark delight,
- And the wild soaring after ecstasy
- Will be a lyric bird that dares the sky--
- Only to fall to earth when storms beat by.
- Harold Vinal
- O DO not pity me because I gave
- My heart when lovely April with a gust
- Swept down the singing lanes like a cool wave,
- And do not pity me because I thrust
- Aside your love that once burned as a flame;
- I was as thirsty as a windy flower
- That bares its bosom to the summer shower
- And to the unremembered winds that came.
- Pity me most for moments yet to be
- In the far years, when some day I shall turn
- Toward this strong path up to our little door
- And find it barred to all my ecstasy.
- No sound of your warm voice the winds have borne--
- Only the crying sea upon the shore.
- Harold Vinal
- THE earth remembers many an April blown
- To lyric beauty on a lovely hill,
- And many a golden hour she has known
- Comes back to haunt her with old wonder still.
- The earth remembers things she knew of yore,
- Summers that olden lovers have forgot,
- The way of silver rain upon a shore
- And little towns as fair as Camelot.
- The earth has moon-kissed beauty and to spare,
- While I weep long for love, a thing as frail
- As blue spills blown high in a sudden gale,
- The space of weeping is too great to bear;
- Blow by a whirl of petalled blossoming--
- So I forget to weep with wondering.
- Harold Vinal
Part III. Of Mariners
- YOU who are inland born know not the pain
- Of one who longs for grey dunes and the seas
- And sound of ebbing tide and windy rain
- And sea-mews crying down immensities.
- You who are inland born know not the urge
- Of rapt tides beating passionate and wild,
- Nor have you thrilled with wonder at the surge
- Of drifting water, wayward as a child.
- Impetuous I seek the eager sea,
- Imperious for joy and wind-blown spray;
- You, who are city beaten every day,
- What do you know of mirth and ecstasy?
- No thirsty wind has journeyed from the South--
- And laid a cool, wet finger on your mouth!
- Harold Vinal
- I WILL remember to the very last
- The look of ships upon a quiet sea,
- Each windy sail, each spar and slender mast
- Must linger ever in my memory.
- I will remember hills and harbor ways
- And bright lagoons, though I long to forget;
- Enchanted islands green as chrysoprase
- And lonely nights of rose and violet.
- Men who have known such splendid things as these
- Can never quite forget what they have learned;
- Their thoughts must always be of secret seas
- Or of dim places where the moonlight burned.
- Always the sound of wind moans in their ears
- Or rush of waters under ghostly piers.
- Harold Vinal
- YOU who have known the changes of the sea
- And marked the tides and watched each wistful star;
- You who have known old ships, each mast and spar,
- Can only know what such things mean to me.
- You who have known the quiet mystery
- Of lovely islands in a glowing bay,
- Know what it is that haunts me night and day--
- A ghost of things that will not let me be.
- For they who know such things must always dream
- Of wind and tide and barques that they have known,
- Old schooners lying where the town lights gleam,
- A tall ship sailing by at dawn alone.
- They who have felt the wind upon their lips,
- Their speech must always be of sea or ships.
- Harold Vinal
- WHAT memories hang round about the spars
- Of splendid ships that come to port no more,
- What dreams of moonlit seas and lovely stars,
- What sound of waters on a wooden floor.
- Something remembered from an ancient day
- Comes back to haunt them when the evening falls,
- The cry of gleaming birds from far away,
- The moan of winds around their whitened walls.
- Something survives to make them wistful still
- Of silver harbors that they knew of yore,
- Of midnight quiet by a secret hill,
- Of shining lights upon a singing shore.
- Perchance, a ghostly gull against the sky
- Or a white sail at twilight flashing by.
- Harold Vinal
- PUT a fence about my house
- It matters not to me,
- If from the highest window
- I cannot watch the sea.
- Scent the rooms with flowers,
- You may leave them bare
- If no salty sea wind
- Wanders there.
- Leave tall candles burning,
- A house can be a grave--
- If it's far from water
- And a breaking wave.
- Harold Vinal
- THE sea remembers things she knew of yore,
- Ships that have flowered on her lovely breast
- And secret islands, silvered by a shore,
- The cry of winds that mocked her with a jest.
- Remembered beauty comes to haunt her still,
- A ghostly sail blown by at evenfall,
- A singing bird above a starry hill--
- In haunted hours she remembers all.
- She cannot quite forget these wistful things,
- Barges that were her lovers in old days
- And golden argosies with lifted wings,
- And splendid schooners that sailed down her bays.
- Always she dreams of masts and wooden spars
- Or a tall ship that passed beneath the stars.
- Harold Vinal
- THERE is a rumor when each ship returns
- Of ghostly harbors that it touched at dawn,
- Of blue lagoons where lifted beauty burns,
- Shore lines towards which its wooden spars have gone.
- There is a rumor of disastrous days
- And nights by quiet islands near a town,
- Of wine-red hills, beyond the waterways
- Where both the moon and lovely stars looked down.
- Now do they dream beneath the April sky
- Of olden time and golden circumstance,
- Of ancient summers, ended like a dance,
- And mad adventures, now a memory.
- A secret flower lying on their breast
- The wind dropped down upon an old, old quest.
- Harold Vinal
- LET me lie in an unremembered place
- With sorrel red about me and currants swaying;
- Let the cool darkness fall upon my face--
- I only want to hear waves playing.
- I only ask this thing, sound of the sea,
- Clean water shifting under a granite ledge,
- Spindrift flying wildly by a tree,
- The sound of the wind among the sedge.
- Life must go on, to-morrow and to-morrow,
- Night following night and day following day;
- Give me the one thing, Life, that I desire--
- The sound of wheeling gulls and waves at play.
- Harold Vinal
Part IV. White Glamour
- YOU came to me with darkness as a lute
- On which you played strange melodies to woo me,
- You came with cymbals and wild timbrelling--
- With golden harmonies did you pursue me.
- Upon a pipe of lovely shivering reeds,
- You strung your arabesques like filigrees;
- The notes were kisses blown to touch my lips
- As warm as rain upon pomegranate trees.
- You came to me with darkness as a lute,
- A twirl of tears to woo me and your eyes;
- You brought me death and beauty, I was mute--
- Now do I hunger for you, O most wise.
- Harold Vinal
- WHEN this, our love, at last is buried low
- Beneath the flaming streets of a dark city
- And other hearts forget to scoff and pity
- Our lovely dream that burned as deep as woe,
- We shall arise again and gladly turn
- Down these far dew-drenched vales we tread to-day
- And wander where the rain-kissed boughs of May
- Shed streaming perfume over starry fern.
- No one will see or guess that we are there,
- Who spoke their last farewell above our dust,
- When our hushed voices ended all surprise,
- And bitter silence for a moment thrust
- Dead waves across your beauty burning fair
- And petalled flowers over your sweet eyes.
- Harold Vinal
- T HE nights remember lovely things they knew,
- The words of lovers, tremulous and wise,
- And kisses blown and laughter and the beauty
- Of glowing eyes.
- The nights remember hours white with wonder,
- Lipped with red stars and strangely luminous;
- Perchance, beloved, when the years have lengthened--
- They will remember us.
- Harold Vinal
- SHELTER me from loving you
- Lest it grow too great to bear,
- Put a silence to my song
- Lest it sing you everywhere.
- Let me be a common hour
- Or a careless word;
- Pluck me, as you would a flower,
- Cage me, as you would a bird.
- For I praise you everywhere,
- Shout your wonder down the street;
- Bind me, so I may not dare
- Leave you, sweet.
- Harold Vinal
- I SHALL remember you in years to be,
- As June's first rose or as a golden bough,
- And all this beauty that we gather now
- Will be a song or a dear memory.
- I shall remember you as mists that blow
- Across reluctant fields where no sounds are
- And grief's dark night will wear a splendid star
- Because of the enchanted things I know.
- The peace of all your preciousness will make
- Each hour of pain an hour of loveliness,
- For some remembered call or faint caress
- Will startle me and make my soul awake.
- So I forget that woe is terrible--
- Remembering that love is beautiful.
- Harold Vinal
- YOUR love died for me
- Like rain in a hollow,
- Suddenly there was no cry
- For me to follow.
- All that was dear and sweet
- Last, last December,
- Now is a little poem
- You can't remember.
- Your love died for me
- Like mist on a bough,
- Well, since I must forget--
- I will, somehow.
- Harold Vinal
- FOR the thought of you
- I'll wind up the clock,
- Sweep the floor
- And turn the lock.
- For the thought of you
- I'll put on a gown,
- A ribbon or two
- And go to town.
- For the thought of you
- I'll talk to strange folk
- And smile merrily--
- Though my heart's broke.
- Harold Vinal
- MOONLIGHT is magic when a day is gone
- For shivering silver hangs upon each flower;
- Here where old lovers wandered once forlorn
- The trees are blown to beauty in an hour.
- Flowers and moonlight, these shall ever dwell
- A part of beauty on each secret hill,
- And whispered words that lovers dared not tell,
- Will be the birth of many a daffodil.
- Nor shall there be an ending to it all
- For always music shall drift down the air
- And shining petals tremble by a wall
- And olden loveliness pass unaware.
- We, who wear moonlight now like flower and grass,
- In later years will bring new things to pass.
- Harold Vinal
- I PUT my dream away,
- My dream of you;
- A lonely little dream
- Of star and dew.
- Now you can only see
- Wild April skies
- When you look deep into
- My sober eyes.
- So sorrowfully sad
- Their look shall be--
- Your heart will never guess
- What made them see.
- Harold Vinal
- I MADE my love a palanquin
- From wood of Lebanon,
- The seats were all of purple
- And ivory from the dawn,
- For she who was to ride it
- Was fair to look upon.
- I made my love a palanquin,
- Inlaid with filigrees,
- The cushions were of river blue
- And color from the seas,
- And there were slaves to bear it
- Dark as pomegranate trees.
- I made my love a palanquin,
- The ceiling overhead
- Was silver and wild olive
- And ebony and red—
- I did not dream that it would be
- A place for young love dead.
- Harold Vinal
Part V. Overtures
- DEEPER far than dead men lie
- Have I buried thoughts of you
- Underneath cool grasses
- And a night-green yew.
- Never shall the starlings wake
- Things that lie so deep;
- Never shall the sunlight stir
- Thoughts asleep.
- Deeper far then dead men lie,
- Shaded and withdrawn,
- I have buried thoughts of you
- From another dawn.
- Harold Vinal
- I SAW a star flame in the sky,
- I heard a wild bird sing
- And down where all the forest stirred
- Another answering.
- All suddenly I felt the gleam
- That made my faith revive--
- Ah God, it takes such simple things
- To keep the soul alive.
- Harold Vinal
- THE air is thin and sweet
- With sounds I do not hear,
- Somewhere beauty blows
- As it does each year.
- Somewhere laughter calls
- Down a country lane,
- But I hear the shriek
- Of a noisy train.
- Somewhere lovers wait
- For maids undoubtedly,
- Wait for a word, a kiss,
- That belong to me.
- Harold Vinal
- DEATH comes in a night,
- All that we cherish,
- Beauty and laughter
- Soon perish.
- Death comes in a day--
- House yourself well,
- Colin, Beatrice,
- Isobel.
- Harold Vinal
- SONGS that I have loved
- Come back to me,
- One cannot forget a bird
- Or the crying sea.
- Words that I have loved
- Give the heart no rest,
- Always they He like flowers
- On the breast.
- Faces I have loved,
- Eyes that gave no sign,
- Did the soul behind them
- Yearn as much as mine ?
- Harold Vinal
- TIDES of old music what do you sing
- Out in the darkness like a bird ?
- Listen and I will tell to you
- The unspeakable word.
- Tides of old music what do you cry
- Out where the warm stars flame ?
- Bend low and I will whisper you
- The unspeakable name.
- Harold Vinal
- DO not weep for her who lies
- In the silences,
- For she knew both youth and age
- And grew tired of these.
- Do not weep for she was glad
- To share the quiet earth,
- Who grew weary of such things
- As joy and mirth.
- Weep only for yourself
- Who pass unsatisfied--
- You have much to learn from her
- Who so gladly died.
- Harold Vinal
- I HAVE seen many things,
- Too beautiful for words;
- Twilights, tremulous with mist--
- Birds.
- I have heard music
- That was to me
- Soft as the clinging fingers
- Of the sea.
- I have known many things,
- Now I am old--
- I am a miser
- Counting my gold.
- Harold Vinal
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